Escaping a Casual Sex Relationship Before You Get Hurt

Posted on September 16, 2017 in Uncategorized

Are you sexually involved with one of your friends on a casual basis, and you’re starting to worry that it’s not going to end well? Are you worried that he’s developing feelings for you, or worse, that you’re starting to fall for him when he doesn’t feel the same way? Friends with benefits situations can be risky territory, and it can lead to heartbreak and ruining a friendship that is otherwise fine.

When you find yourself in this situation, you have to evaluate your options. Is the sex really so good that it’s worth all the complications that it can cause? Are you willing to potentially lose a good friend just because you two got hot and heavy? Are you ready to get your heart broken if you have feelings for him and he doesn’t feel anything for you? You’re probably answering no to all of these questions, and that’s your first sign that you need to get out of this relationship before it goes south.

There is one advantage to being in a casual sex relationship with a friend: at least you both started out as friends! This means it should be a little easier to communicate with him and end the relationship amicably. You’re both adults, after all. Try sitting him down and explaining your concerns to him. Tell him that you don’t want to lose the friendship over a little hanky-panky. He may be resistant at first (because who doesn’t like a good roll in the hay?), but you have to be strong and hold your ground. Let him know that he means a lot more to you as a friend than as a sex partner, and that you feel it would be in both of your best interest if you just called it quits before things escalate.

If he’s not listening, explain to him that you’re looking for something more serious and that you’d rather have a real relationship with another man who may come along any day. Tell him that he’s limiting his options, as well, by spending time in your bed. It doesn’t need to turn into a big fight and feelings don’t necessarily need to get hurt if you two can both remain calm and discuss the situations like the adults that you are. The sooner you end the sexual relationship, the sooner the two of you can get back to being friends. It will take time, but it’s worth it.

Spirituality and Same Sex Relationship

Posted on September 14, 2017 in Uncategorized

The one part of my life which I have never really looked at until recently was how I feel about same sex relationships. Many years ago, in 1977 I had a radio show in Australia. This was 5 years before I opened the metaphysical doorway. It was a 3 hour show every Friday morning and I was the most popular person each week on the radio. Mainly because people loved my English accent, and I realize now, that people were affected by my energy even then, as one woman had said to me, you are so comforting on the radio! I had to have a theme for my show, and I had heard a piece of music which I just loved, it was called Billitus, and I was not to know it was the music from a film about lesbians! I just loved the music. This piece of music played my show in and played it out. One day, I had a letter from a woman who told me she loved my show and would love to meet me. Her name was Elizabeth and she was married with two children. I arranged to meet her a few days after the letter arrived. (There was no email then as far as I recall) We met in town, had a delicious lunch and talked and talked. Elizabeth seemed so nice and invited me back to her house to see photo’s of her children and talk further. I went along quite innocently.

During my visit to her home, she made a cup of tea for me and sat down at my feet. There she began to tell me how much she loved me, how she loved my show and wanted to be with me. I did not know what to do, because I certainly did not feel the same way. I also felt embarrassed, deeply embarrassed. I was married with children myself, I was not happy in my marriage, but the thought of being with another woman was YUK!! I could not get out of the house quick enough. She had given me a book by Karlil Gibran over our lunch, called “The Prophet” apparently I had mentioned on air I loved Gibran’s writing, and did not have a book. I left the book behind in my effort to leave the house as quickly as I could. When I got home, I felt sick, I also felt “dirty” as if I had been invaded. Elizabeth tried to contact me at the radio station by phone, but I refused to take her calls. She sent the Karlil Gibran book by mail, with a nice card; I threw it in the bin. I cannot believe I did it now, but at the time I was so confused and embarrassed. It was as if the book was a part of what had taken place. I changed the music also in the show to something quite different. I shut the experience completely out of my mind and got on with my life, moving house and area a few years later.

After my experience with Elizabeth, many years passed without my having to face the issue again. Meantime the Aids issue became big, and then waned off. It was considered if you were gay as these relationships were known as, that you would get Aids. However, I was getting on with my life, experiencing a recession where I was a major player, and discovering metaphysics. I met quite a few gay people during this time, but kept on the outside of their energy, as I was so frightened what had happened before, would happen again. When I became a clairvoyant reader I had a few clients who were gay and the energy I channeled for them was so filled with love and understanding, but still myself, I had huge difficulty in understanding them. When Maitreya entered my life, one of the first things he began teaching me was love for all humanity no matter who. I had always had love in my heart for everyone, but this issue of gay people was a big block for me to get by.

Maitreya taught me that love in any form was the most beautiful thing people could have. He also taught me about sexual pleasure and how important it was for our spiritual/higher consciousness development, but also for OUR pleasure. Personally I had never had an orgasm; I had to admit I was very inexperienced in the sexual area. In fact to be honest I was downright embarrassed at the talk of sex, and at doing anything other than what basically my parents did. Maitreya led me to books which explained sex in a whole new way; He taught me through many different ways about sexual energy, once leading me through the tease of a book in a shop window on tantric sex, into a shop where I had to ask for the book. The shop was very busy and the owner said very loudly when I asked for the book in the window “Oh the book on tantric sex.” which made everyone look up and my cheeks to go bright red!! One day, I woke up in the morning and felt I had a Penis and testicles; it was as if etherically I did. I could feel the testicles heavy between my legs, and as the day progressed, my Penis rose at the very thought of sex or at the vision of any pretty woman who crossed my path. Thoughts of Elizabeth again surfaced. I learned what it feels like to be a man for the day, and I must be the only female who knows what the tingle feels like before a man has an orgasm. However, after one day, it was over, but not before I had learned that men are totally different to women and understanding the male energy a lot better. It was then Maitreya told me he did not like the word gay. He preferred to use the word “free.” Because he said these people who had same sex relationships were free, they had freed themselves from the binding of conditioning. It took a big commitment to be free and so he wrote a teaching about this. He counseled me on the subject of same sex relationships. I told him it was OK with me, but I did not feel it was for me. He told me that was OK but not to judge and more than ever not to be afraid of these people (which I had to admit I was.) I had been brought up by parents who called these people faggots and other such names.

I had to learn to uncondition myself which was not an easy task. However I found myself becoming more and more understanding. Maitreya brought free couples into my life to show me how their love was given and received. By now, free people were beginning to have families, and a lot of controversy was created because of this. However, I began to think after seeing quite a few couples, why should they not do this? I could see that many of them had so much love to give to children. The common thought was that the children of these couples would become free themselves, but after meeting a couple of families who had been brave and done this many years before and speaking to the children, they were as normal as other families, they just had two of the same sex people as parents. They said they had no feelings themselves for the same sex people. I was beginning to change.

As I began to relax more about same sex relationships, I found that I was becoming more and more understanding about other subjects as well. I found myself talking to free people up close, and actually not being frightened of doing so, something which in my early years would have freaked me out. I remember as a young girl, two particular people, one was a man called Quinten Crisp who when I was in England, came out and admitted he was free at a time when it was considered horrific. He was called all sorts of names and suffered terribly for doing so. Another was when Rock Hudson the film actor died and the press was desperately trying to prove he was free also. They never did at the time, but many years later, after of course many more people had come out, it was proved he was. I began to say, when I met a very handsome free person; “What a waste!” I was changing so much I could not believe it. In 1991 a friend of mine lost her husband to cancer. It devastated her. She had two young children and I realize now she could not face what had happened. I needed someone to help me on the road while I traveled, and she needed to get away. Leaving her children with some friends at the times I went away, we traveled together for me to do my readings and teaching. One evening, in the hotel room, she was crying in her bed over her deceased husband. I decided to get into bed with her and comfort her. As I lay there in bed with her, I found myself actually feeling good about this. She had her back to me, and all of a sudden I felt very loving towards her, I was also feeling sexual. She did not turn around, and eventually went to sleep. I went back to my own bed and lay there thinking about the experience. It did not frighten me, in fact it felt good. I asked myself what I would have done if something had happened. I came to the realization it would not have bothered me, I would have gone with the flow. I felt liberated!

Since that time, I have not had any desire for a female companion or partner. When I met and married Alan, I felt complete, as we are so alike. I knew there would be nobody else for me after Alan and Maitreya confirmed this. However, I was watching TV one night, and there was a new show on MSNBC called “The Rachel Maddow show” Rachel was an incredible woman, she was not only incredible, but openly free. I loved her in a non romantic way. Once again the feeling I had previously was back. However this time I openly welcomed it without fear or wanting to hide. It does not feel “bad” anymore to have that feeling, and I am certainly no longer afraid of it anymore. Do I still love Alan, you bet I do? I also know that I need a man in my life, but would I consider a woman if that were different? You bet you I would. I was thirty two when I met Elizabeth, and I am now sixty two. Thirty long years have passed, and during that time my belief system has totally changed. I cannot thank the world of spirit enough for enabling me to see this and to make the change I have done. Maitreya has said, love is love, it does not matter how it is used. I whole heartily agree.


The Benefits and Downfalls of Casual Sex Relationships

Posted on September 12, 2017 in Uncategorized

If you’ve been single for a long time, you’ve probably considered attempting a sexual relationship that has no romantic basis. These casual sex relationships seem very inviting. You get the best of both worlds: a friend you can hang out with and a regular sex partner you can trust, without all of the drama involved in a romantic relationship. The thing is, it can turn into a sticky situation rather quickly. Before you enter into a sexual relationship with someone with whom you are only platonically linked, it’s a good idea to take a few things into consideration.

These relationships do work for some people. Men tend to find it easier, as they are almost universally capable of having sexual relations without tying in emotion. Women are a little different, however. We tend to tie in romanticism with sexual interaction whether we want to or not. There is a chemical release in our brains that accompanies erotic stimulation and orgasm. While you may be a strong, confident, independent and sexually aware being, it is difficult to combat a base chemical reaction when it occurs.

Sex in women triggers the release of all sorts of chemicals. Adrenalin, endorphins and a particular chemical called oxytocin. Oxytocin is the major culprit in this scenario. It makes a woman instinctually feel a bond with anyone she interacts with sexually, regardless of whether there is an actual emotional or romantic bond there already. It can be disastrous in a casual relationship, when neither party is really looking for a relationship, but the woman in the pair starts to have feelings she didn’t even want to have in the first place.

You will need to be prepared for this occurrence if you start a “friends with benfits” relationship. You must be ready to combat the chemicals that will push you into wanting more from the man you’re sleeping with. These casual relationships almost never turn into anything more than what they start out as, and you need to recognize that before going in. It is a good idea to only allow these relationships to last a short time because of this fact.

Another added risk is that most women enter these agreements with men who are already platonic friends. Starting a sexual relationship with someone who is already a part of your life can be dangerous. What if you develop romantic feelings for your friend? Are you willing to risk that friendship for a little sex here and there?

In the end, it is up to you. If you feel you can handle the situation (and all the chemicals your brain produces because of it), try it out. It does work for some people, though those are few and far between. Just remember to keep your cool and not get too attached!