Posted on September 19, 2017
Are you in a casual sex relationship with a friend and concerned that your feelings for him are getting too serious? Are you worried that you are falling harder and harder for this guy who may not be interested in you romantically at all? Do you find yourself thinking about him all the time and having to stop yourself from calling or texting him just so that you don’t seem desperate? If any of this sounds like you, you might be in trouble. It’s time to figure out how to get out of this pseudo-relationship before you find yourself heartbroken.
Most of us have been in similar situations. The idea of a “friend with benefits” seems like a universal win. You don’t have the hassle of a full-on romantic relationship, but you still get to have an emotional (if platonic) connection with someone — and get laid, to boot. The problem here is that men are wired very differently from women, especially when it comes to sex. Men can easily have lots of sex with lots of different partners without becoming emotionally or psychologically attached. Women, however, have a few roadblocks in casual sex relationships.
Women tend to identify with and care for their sexual partners far more easily than men do. This is not to say that the situation never happens in reverse, but it is far more likely that a woman will start falling for her casual sex partner than a man will his — and that spells danger for you!
Recognize that the situation is not likely to change. It’s unrealistic to expect or even hope that the relationship’s boundaries will change simply because your level of interest has changed. If you are actually platonic friends with this man, it is even more important to end the relationship before your expectations get out of hand for the sake of salvaging the friendship.
So what do you do? Do nothing! Stop having sex with him. Stop spending time with him alone. Put some space between you and your (former) casual sex partner for a while. Go on dates with other guys to get your mind off of him. Let his phone calls go to voicemail. If you can’t avoid seeing him, invite other trusted mutual friends to the gathering to run defense for you. The bottom line is that you absolutely have to end the sexual relationship NOW, before things get even more out of hand.
Posted on September 17, 2017
It is a true dilemma of modern times – to guys today, does sex mean a relationship? Do men today feel an obligation to couple up with a woman after sleeping with her? Does the modern man feel the unspoken grasp of attachment to his partner after a hook-up? These questions race through every woman’s mind before, sometimes during, and always after sex. Read on for some inside clues on deciphering the man code of sex and their thoughts about if sex means relationship.
Modern relationships are vastly different from those in older times. A man need only accidentally see a woman in a mode of undress and he would be obligated to marry her. Attributes such as purity, virginity, and celibacy were requirements for an unmarried woman. It would be quite difficult to find an adult female today who possesses these traits. However, an advantage to this freedom ensures that a man and woman today need not enter into marriage just for the sex. It seems to hold true also, that a relationship which suffers through unsatisfying sex doesn’t last. Nowadays, that means just a breakup – not a divorce.
So, how can you tell if a guy thinks sex means relationship? Here’s a few hints to help you read between the lines. Relationship Guy wants to know things about YOU. He listens when you talk. And, if sex does occur, he relishes knowing that HE has pleased YOU and hopes for the invitation to hang around long after the sex is over. Sex Guy focuses solely on his own satisfaction and his course of action – particularly after sex. His interaction with you is geared to achieve a goal – manipulating to sleep with you. Listen to your instincts with Sex Guy.
Actually, when you meet any new guy, you should listen to your instincts. It’s a good idea to wait for sex until you have an insight into his intentions. Once you’ve crossed that line, reality becomes very difficult if you find that he is truly “Sex Guy” and you are looking for “Relationship Guy”. Give yourself time. The sheer fact that you have to decipher men’s actions confirms the fact that to the modern man, sex does not mean relationship.
Posted on September 16, 2017
Are you sexually involved with one of your friends on a casual basis, and you’re starting to worry that it’s not going to end well? Are you worried that he’s developing feelings for you, or worse, that you’re starting to fall for him when he doesn’t feel the same way? Friends with benefits situations can be risky territory, and it can lead to heartbreak and ruining a friendship that is otherwise fine.
When you find yourself in this situation, you have to evaluate your options. Is the sex really so good that it’s worth all the complications that it can cause? Are you willing to potentially lose a good friend just because you two got hot and heavy? Are you ready to get your heart broken if you have feelings for him and he doesn’t feel anything for you? You’re probably answering no to all of these questions, and that’s your first sign that you need to get out of this relationship before it goes south.
There is one advantage to being in a casual sex relationship with a friend: at least you both started out as friends! This means it should be a little easier to communicate with him and end the relationship amicably. You’re both adults, after all. Try sitting him down and explaining your concerns to him. Tell him that you don’t want to lose the friendship over a little hanky-panky. He may be resistant at first (because who doesn’t like a good roll in the hay?), but you have to be strong and hold your ground. Let him know that he means a lot more to you as a friend than as a sex partner, and that you feel it would be in both of your best interest if you just called it quits before things escalate.
If he’s not listening, explain to him that you’re looking for something more serious and that you’d rather have a real relationship with another man who may come along any day. Tell him that he’s limiting his options, as well, by spending time in your bed. It doesn’t need to turn into a big fight and feelings don’t necessarily need to get hurt if you two can both remain calm and discuss the situations like the adults that you are. The sooner you end the sexual relationship, the sooner the two of you can get back to being friends. It will take time, but it’s worth it.