The Best Online Dating Tips for a Casual Sex Relationship

With so many opportunities to find someone online to share a casual sex relationship, it’s important to understand that the rules of this kind of encounter are a bit different from a traditional dating relationship. To properly navigate this type of dating you need to know the best online dating tips so you can have a great time, be smart, and be safe.

One of the best adult online dating tips for you to embrace is to approach the whole situation with an attitude of having fun. Casual sex is, well, casual. The fun in it is that you can lower the barriers that you might normally erect when meeting somebody new. This opportunity to just breathe and allow yourself to enjoy the moment is what draws couples to a casual sex relationship.

Very often in a traditional dating relationship there is always the concern of what kind of protocol is proper. How many dates must you go on before you have the first sensual kiss or have sex for the first time? How soon should you call the other person after a great date? How do you avoid that person after a horrible date? These types of questions are eliminated when adults meet for the same purpose through an online dating forum.

Another great online dating tip is to be very clear about your expectations. If you are looking for the love of your life and you hook up with someone who just wants to relieve some stress with a casual sex relationship, then someone is going to wind up being hurt. Be sure that if you are just out for a good time that you communicate that to a potential partner. Without that honesty, you can wind up with a completely different type of stress!

Ok, now that we have covered how to have fun in a casual sex relationship, let’s talk about how to be smart. This online dating tip is not what you are going to expect. Be smart when you put your online profile together. You are marketing yourself so for a moment put on the hat of an ad agency or marketer. Need some help? Take a look at the profiles of your competition – other men or women that are available to the very people you want to attract. Yes, I said competition! What can you do or say in your profile that is going to have someone start chatting with you and not that other guy or gal? Take a good picture, highlight your features, and buy all means ladies brush your hair! I’ve seen some pretty horrific profile pictures.

The final online dating tip covers the area of safety. My motto is that it’s only fun when it’s safe. It should be no surprise that condoms are a must – no matter how clean the other person appears. The other online dating tips for safety are to meet for the first time in a public place, always be sure to drive your own car or have your own mode of transportation available, let others know where you are going, trust your instincts, and if you plan on getting smashed and you’re in a strange city write down the name of the hotel you are staying at somewhere so you know where to have the taxi driver drop you off. Trust me on this last one.

Same Sex Relationships and the Teenage Years

Adolescence is a period of developmental changes. The most noticeable changes are physical. Girls begin to grow breasts and have a regular menstrual cycle. Boys begin to develop facial hairs, have a deep voice and begin to produce semen. So for the first time in his or her life the teenager begins to wonder what is happening to him or her. I encourage parents to be closer to their children at this time to answer their questions, to support them and to allay their fears and concerns. One of the most important concerns is their sexuality. Most teenagers would fantasize only about the opposite sex while a few teenagers may consider same-sex relationship as an option. For those who think about same-sex relationship as an option I encourage you to give it some time and seek professional help before making a decision. The truth is that you are not developed enough to make a decision about your sexuality. Meanwhile you may have friends of the opposite sex not ‘girl friend’ or ‘boy friend’ for the reason that you are not yet an adult and you do not want to complicate your life at this time.

The way to manage your sexual fantasies is to concentrate on what interests you like music, drawing, computing, entrepreneurship, public speaking, science, leadership, or writing. These creative and investigative outlets are more stimulating than sex if you could give them a chance to manifest in your life. At the proper age get married and raise your family in love, care and happiness. I am not a professional but I do not think I need to be one in other to guide a teenager that is battling with his or her sexuality because I am a parent. A family member of about 19 years old once posted on Facebook that he is gay. In consultation with my wife we advised him to remove the posting and he did. Our reasoning was that he was not old enough to determine his sexuality. We found out later that it was his way of coping with a recent breakup with his girlfriend. Today he is a father.

Your sexuality is very important. It is not something to be taken lightly. You could bring children into the world and that requires responsibility, compassion, love and the proper values to raise the child. I know society has made sexuality seem commonplace but for you it is still a sacred event and I encourage you to plan and prepare with your eyes open and your reason intact. If you take it lightly with your eyes closed, it could destroy your life. But if you understand it, prepare for it, plan for it, fall in love and get married, you could have a fulfilled life. These are the same thoughts I share with our children and I encourage you to take them seriously. Our world needs moral leaders and I am counting on you to be one of them!

If you are having sexual problems and you think that you might be gay or you are thinking about sex all the time, please by all means do not keep it to your self. Confide in your parents so that they may get you the proper help that you need. However if you are constantly thinking about sexual pleasures at an early age I encourage you to think more about your interests. There is a time for everything and your time for marital bliss will come. For now it is better to build your future by developing your talents and gifts than to waste it on sensual fantasies. But whatever you are feeling it must be part of your body. If it is part of your body others have also felt it and dealt with it so there is nothing to be ashamed about it but the sooner you get professional help the better you will feel about your body and your life..

I first met a gay person in my sociology class at Indiana, Pennsylvania in the eighties. At the time I did not know what to make of it. I could not believe that anyone would prefer the same-sex as a life partner and coming from Nigeria did not prepare me for the experience. For me it was natural to be attracted to the opposite sex and that any other tendency was abnormal. But after reading more and more of these stories I have come to accept that we may be connected on a spiritual level but our tendencies might be entirely different. However, my caution centers on respect and human dignity. Let your relationship be based on Love and love alone and if you are a bisexual decide and define where you belong.

For those who oppose homosexuality because it is a sin against their Gods, as written in their sacred texts I encourage you to do more research on the subject, involve your heart and make an effort to understand the subject. In this way you may react with love when it happens in your family! My take on Sacred Texts is that you must be really naive to think that your sacred text is the real word of God or the only sacred text. The truth is that sacred texts are more like the word of a father who is about to die and decides to write down his thoughts and experiences on how to live a good life as a guide to his son. But my dear friend, God is not about to die and surely God is not dead! God is within your heart and if you really want real answers consult your heart, not books!

There are those who think that homosexuality is an illness and some practitioners have healing clinics to turn homosexuals into “normal” human beings. Many of the clinics are organized by religious organizations because according to their belief homosexuality is an abomination toward their God. In this case it boils down to if you believe in their God or a different God. However this is your life and your life alone. If you are using homosexuality to cover up something else like my family member seek professional help immediately. Further if you are shy before girls and are using homosexuality as an escape you are mistaken. There is nothing to fear or worry about in your relationship with a girl. Just be yourself and your girl will appear at the proper time or whenever you are ready. Lastly if you know that you are indeed a gay person so be it! Here is a quote from Sigmund Freud:

“Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness.” Sigmund Freud (1935).

Finally for those who want more information on the subject I encourage you to read about homosexual behavior in animals. The study is not conclusive but that did not prevent the American Psychiatric Association and other groups for citing it in the brief to the United States Supreme Court in Lawrence Vs. Texas which removed sodomy laws from 14 states. In conclusion what is at stake is not really about homosexuality but about freedom, individual freedom within the limits of our laws and if you support individual freedom learn more from the following quote originated by Martin Niemöller:

They came first for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Thank you for your time and Make each moment you live a moment of love, peace and happiness for yourself and for everyone you meet.

Spirituality and Same Sex Relationship

The one part of my life which I have never really looked at until recently was how I feel about same sex relationships. Many years ago, in 1977 I had a radio show in Australia. This was 5 years before I opened the metaphysical doorway. It was a 3 hour show every Friday morning and I was the most popular person each week on the radio. Mainly because people loved my English accent, and I realize now, that people were affected by my energy even then, as one woman had said to me, you are so comforting on the radio! I had to have a theme for my show, and I had heard a piece of music which I just loved, it was called Billitus, and I was not to know it was the music from a film about lesbians! I just loved the music. This piece of music played my show in and played it out. One day, I had a letter from a woman who told me she loved my show and would love to meet me. Her name was Elizabeth and she was married with two children. I arranged to meet her a few days after the letter arrived. (There was no email then as far as I recall) We met in town, had a delicious lunch and talked and talked. Elizabeth seemed so nice and invited me back to her house to see photo’s of her children and talk further. I went along quite innocently.

During my visit to her home, she made a cup of tea for me and sat down at my feet. There she began to tell me how much she loved me, how she loved my show and wanted to be with me. I did not know what to do, because I certainly did not feel the same way. I also felt embarrassed, deeply embarrassed. I was married with children myself, I was not happy in my marriage, but the thought of being with another woman was YUK!! I could not get out of the house quick enough. She had given me a book by Karlil Gibran over our lunch, called “The Prophet” apparently I had mentioned on air I loved Gibran’s writing, and did not have a book. I left the book behind in my effort to leave the house as quickly as I could. When I got home, I felt sick, I also felt “dirty” as if I had been invaded. Elizabeth tried to contact me at the radio station by phone, but I refused to take her calls. She sent the Karlil Gibran book by mail, with a nice card; I threw it in the bin. I cannot believe I did it now, but at the time I was so confused and embarrassed. It was as if the book was a part of what had taken place. I changed the music also in the show to something quite different. I shut the experience completely out of my mind and got on with my life, moving house and area a few years later.

After my experience with Elizabeth, many years passed without my having to face the issue again. Meantime the Aids issue became big, and then waned off. It was considered if you were gay as these relationships were known as, that you would get Aids. However, I was getting on with my life, experiencing a recession where I was a major player, and discovering metaphysics. I met quite a few gay people during this time, but kept on the outside of their energy, as I was so frightened what had happened before, would happen again. When I became a clairvoyant reader I had a few clients who were gay and the energy I channeled for them was so filled with love and understanding, but still myself, I had huge difficulty in understanding them. When Maitreya entered my life, one of the first things he began teaching me was love for all humanity no matter who. I had always had love in my heart for everyone, but this issue of gay people was a big block for me to get by.

Maitreya taught me that love in any form was the most beautiful thing people could have. He also taught me about sexual pleasure and how important it was for our spiritual/higher consciousness development, but also for OUR pleasure. Personally I had never had an orgasm; I had to admit I was very inexperienced in the sexual area. In fact to be honest I was downright embarrassed at the talk of sex, and at doing anything other than what basically my parents did. Maitreya led me to books which explained sex in a whole new way; He taught me through many different ways about sexual energy, once leading me through the tease of a book in a shop window on tantric sex, into a shop where I had to ask for the book. The shop was very busy and the owner said very loudly when I asked for the book in the window “Oh the book on tantric sex.” which made everyone look up and my cheeks to go bright red!! One day, I woke up in the morning and felt I had a Penis and testicles; it was as if etherically I did. I could feel the testicles heavy between my legs, and as the day progressed, my Penis rose at the very thought of sex or at the vision of any pretty woman who crossed my path. Thoughts of Elizabeth again surfaced. I learned what it feels like to be a man for the day, and I must be the only female who knows what the tingle feels like before a man has an orgasm. However, after one day, it was over, but not before I had learned that men are totally different to women and understanding the male energy a lot better. It was then Maitreya told me he did not like the word gay. He preferred to use the word “free.” Because he said these people who had same sex relationships were free, they had freed themselves from the binding of conditioning. It took a big commitment to be free and so he wrote a teaching about this. He counseled me on the subject of same sex relationships. I told him it was OK with me, but I did not feel it was for me. He told me that was OK but not to judge and more than ever not to be afraid of these people (which I had to admit I was.) I had been brought up by parents who called these people faggots and other such names.

I had to learn to uncondition myself which was not an easy task. However I found myself becoming more and more understanding. Maitreya brought free couples into my life to show me how their love was given and received. By now, free people were beginning to have families, and a lot of controversy was created because of this. However, I began to think after seeing quite a few couples, why should they not do this? I could see that many of them had so much love to give to children. The common thought was that the children of these couples would become free themselves, but after meeting a couple of families who had been brave and done this many years before and speaking to the children, they were as normal as other families, they just had two of the same sex people as parents. They said they had no feelings themselves for the same sex people. I was beginning to change.

As I began to relax more about same sex relationships, I found that I was becoming more and more understanding about other subjects as well. I found myself talking to free people up close, and actually not being frightened of doing so, something which in my early years would have freaked me out. I remember as a young girl, two particular people, one was a man called Quinten Crisp who when I was in England, came out and admitted he was free at a time when it was considered horrific. He was called all sorts of names and suffered terribly for doing so. Another was when Rock Hudson the film actor died and the press was desperately trying to prove he was free also. They never did at the time, but many years later, after of course many more people had come out, it was proved he was. I began to say, when I met a very handsome free person; “What a waste!” I was changing so much I could not believe it. In 1991 a friend of mine lost her husband to cancer. It devastated her. She had two young children and I realize now she could not face what had happened. I needed someone to help me on the road while I traveled, and she needed to get away. Leaving her children with some friends at the times I went away, we traveled together for me to do my readings and teaching. One evening, in the hotel room, she was crying in her bed over her deceased husband. I decided to get into bed with her and comfort her. As I lay there in bed with her, I found myself actually feeling good about this. She had her back to me, and all of a sudden I felt very loving towards her, I was also feeling sexual. She did not turn around, and eventually went to sleep. I went back to my own bed and lay there thinking about the experience. It did not frighten me, in fact it felt good. I asked myself what I would have done if something had happened. I came to the realization it would not have bothered me, I would have gone with the flow. I felt liberated!

Since that time, I have not had any desire for a female companion or partner. When I met and married Alan, I felt complete, as we are so alike. I knew there would be nobody else for me after Alan and Maitreya confirmed this. However, I was watching TV one night, and there was a new show on MSNBC called “The Rachel Maddow show” Rachel was an incredible woman, she was not only incredible, but openly free. I loved her in a non romantic way. Once again the feeling I had previously was back. However this time I openly welcomed it without fear or wanting to hide. It does not feel “bad” anymore to have that feeling, and I am certainly no longer afraid of it anymore. Do I still love Alan, you bet I do? I also know that I need a man in my life, but would I consider a woman if that were different? You bet you I would. I was thirty two when I met Elizabeth, and I am now sixty two. Thirty long years have passed, and during that time my belief system has totally changed. I cannot thank the world of spirit enough for enabling me to see this and to make the change I have done. Maitreya has said, love is love, it does not matter how it is used. I whole heartily agree.